stress? in the middle of the summer? whaaa..?

I’m supposed to be working on my thesis all summer, but I can’t seem to find the inspiration to get started. I’ve watched a few movies, made a few paltry notes, but it just doesn’t seem to be even beginning to roll. I don’t know if it’s the magnitude of the project, or the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing with feminist criticism because I’ve never done anything like that before… or maybe it’s the sense I’m getting that I’m not going to be breaking any new ground with this. That all of this has been done before. That maybe I should have chosen to look at documentaries or film noir or something else. Is there anything coherent that I can say about these films that someone hasn’t said already? Smith expects me to have a thesis by the end of the summer – a most basic step in writing a paper, an idea to build upon, a point to argue. And I don’t know what it could possibly be. Or even if I can get one by August.
I feel like I have too much to do. I have to research grad schools (scary thought!! how am I ever going to finance two or three years at someplace like NYU?), prepare for the GRE, research for my thesis (tons of reading/movie watching/notetaking/writing), work 7 hours 15 minutes a day, give a tour a week or so, do whatever maid of honor stuff I’ll need to do, and work on my portfolio of creative writing for grad school applications. Because I have nothing near what I’ll need to submit – I’ve never written anything near 30 pages! I suck at life. Writing is supposed to be my greatest love, something that makes me ME and yet I don’t do it anymore. Sure, I can write a research paper or an essay on a novel with basically no problem... But creative writing – it seems that my ideas aren’t worthwhile. So I get frustrated and give up. Way to be, Suzi.